Healthy Relationships Worksheets: 6 to Do on Your Own

Most healthy relationships worksheets assume two willing people and two pens. That is a reasonable assumption if you have it. Plenty of the people searching for healthy relationships worksheets do not have it, and the reason they are searching is often the exact reason they cannot ask.

So these six are built to be done alone. No partner required, no announcement, no sitting down together on a Sunday. You need a notebook and about two weeks.

I should say up front what this page is not. It is not a compatibility quiz, and it will not tell you whether to stay. What it does is replace your impression of the relationship with a record of it, which turns out to be the harder and more useful thing.

Why healthy relationships worksheets usually fail the person doing them

Three problems with the ones already out there.

The first is the couples-exercise problem above. If your partner would happily do a shared-values sheet with you on a Sunday afternoon, your question is probably not the one that brought you here.

The second is that they ask you to rate things. Circle one to five for trust, communication, respect. The trouble is that the rating comes out of your mood on the day you fill it in, and your mood is the thing under dispute. Ask on a good Tuesday and the relationship scores well. Ask on a bad Thursday and it does not. Neither number means much.

The third is that they are written for someone who already knows the answer and wants it confirmed. Real uncertainty feels different. It feels like being able to argue both sides equally well, and being tired.

The exercises below deal with all three by asking you to write down events instead of opinions. Events do not move when your mood does.

If you want the concept version before the practice, healthy vs unhealthy boundaries covers where the line usually sits. This page is for practice.

Worksheet 1: The two week log

Do this one first, and do not skip ahead. Everything else reads better with two weeks of evidence behind it.

Rule the page into three columns: date, what happened, what I did next. One line per entry. Record only things that actually happened, not what they meant. “Wednesday. Asked about the weekend, got a shrug, dropped it.” That is an entry. “Wednesday. He was distant again” is not, because distant is your interpretation, and interpretations are the thing being tested.

Two weeks, every day, including the empty ones. Write “nothing worth noting” on the quiet days and mean it.

Most people find two things when they read it back. One is that the bad days are fewer than they felt, or more. The other, and this is the one that tends to land, is the third column. What you did next. That column is usually where the pattern lives, and it is about you rather than about them.

Keep the log somewhere private. If a notebook is not safe in your house, use a note on your phone under a boring title, or keep it at work.

Worksheet 2: Name what good would look like here

Most people can list what is wrong in about eleven seconds and cannot say what right would look like at all. Worth closing that gap, because “not this” is not a destination and you cannot tell whether you have arrived.

Write ten specific things. Behaviours, not values. Not “respect” but “I can say I am too tired to go, and the plan changes without a conversation about it.”

Ten is deliberately more than is comfortable. The first four come easily and are usually generic. The interesting ones are seven through ten.

Then go back through your list and mark each one:

• happens now
• used to happen
• never happened
• I do not actually know

The “used to happen” line is worth sitting with. So is “I do not actually know”, which comes up more than people expect and usually means you have never asked.

The green flags list is a decent prompt if you stall at six, though write it in your own words rather than borrowing the phrasing.

Worksheet 3: The repair test

Every relationship has conflict. Healthy is not the absence of it. What separates a relationship that works from one that grinds is what happens in the twenty four hours afterwards.

Write out the last three disagreements, whatever they were about. For each one, answer on paper:

• Who moved first afterwards, and how long did it take?
• Was there an actual acknowledgement of the thing, or did the subject just change?
• Did it end, or is it still available to be brought back up as ammunition?
• Did you get an apology, an explanation, or a lecture on why you should not have been upset?
• What did you have to give up to get things back to normal?

That last question is the diagnostic. In a relationship that works, both people give something up. If it is always you, and particularly if the thing you give up is your original point, you have found the pattern, and it has a name. The four horsemen piece covers the four behaviours that predict this best.

One note. The subject changing is not repair. Peace by amnesia is very common and it feels like resolution for about a week.

Worksheet 4: What am I allowed to say

Write down five things you would like to say and have not. Against each one, write what you expect would happen. Then, in a third column, write what evidence you have for that expectation.

The third column is the whole exercise. Sometimes the evidence is a decade of consistent reactions, which is real information. Sometimes it is one bad night in 2019 that you have been steering around ever since. Sometimes there is no evidence at all, and you find you have been managing a person who has never actually objected, which is its own thing to look at. Walking on eggshells covers where that habit tends to come from.

Then count. Out of five, how many can you actually say? Where things are working, the answer is usually four or five, and the barrier is awkwardness rather than cost.

Worksheet 5: What it has cost, and what it has given

Not a pros and cons list. Those flatten everything to the same weight and let you win an argument you have already decided to win.

Two headings. Under the first, write what you have stopped doing since this relationship started. Friendships that thinned out. Things you used to be good at. Places you stopped going. Do not editorialise, just list them.

Under the second, write what it has given you that you would genuinely grieve. Be honest here too. If you write nothing at all, either you already have your answer or you are in the flat stage of it and cannot feel much, and that is worth knowing on its own.

Now the part people skip. For each item on the first list, mark whether you chose it, whether it was asked for, or whether it happened without anyone ever naming it. All three exist in ordinary relationships. The proportions are the information.

Worksheet 6: The one small ask

Two weeks of log first, then this.

Pick one small thing you want. Small matters. Not the biggest unresolved issue, not the thing that has gone unsaid for three years. Something on the order of: I would like us to eat at the table on Sundays. I would like fifteen minutes after I get in before we talk about logistics.

Ask for it plainly, once, with no preamble explaining why you deserve it. If you want help building the sentence, the I statements worksheet has the shape.

Then write down the response. Not the outcome, the response. Whether they do it eventually matters less than what happened in the first thirty seconds. Curiosity, agreement, a negotiation and a straight no are all fine answers. What you are looking for is whether asking for a small thing was itself treated as an offence.

That reaction is the most useful single data point on this page, and it is why this exercise goes last.

How to read your answers

You will want a score. There is not one, and any page offering you one is guessing.

What you have instead is a two week record, ten specific behaviours with their status, three worked examples of repair, a count of what you can say, a cost ledger, and one live experiment. Read them together in one sitting, with the log open next to you.

The question to hold while you read is not “is this a good relationship”. It is narrower and more answerable: when something goes wrong here, does it get repaired, and am I the only one paying for the repair?

If you want a structured second opinion afterwards, the toxic relationship quiz asks a different set of questions and takes about four minutes. Take it after the worksheets rather than before, so the answers come from your log instead of from your mood.

When a worksheet is the wrong tool

There is a version of this where paper is not what you need.

If any of the following is true, stop the exercises and read the emotional abuse checklist instead: you are afraid of what would happen if you were found doing this, you have been monitored or had your phone checked, money or documents are controlled, or you have been told repeatedly that your memory of events is wrong. That last one matters here for a specific reason. The whole method on this page depends on trusting your own record, and coercive control works by making that impossible.

Also, do not start these in the middle of a bad week. Wait for a flat stretch. Written on the worst night, the log turns into a case for the prosecution rather than a record, and you will discount the whole thing later when you feel better, which is the exact pattern the log exists to interrupt.

Frequently asked questions

Are these healthy relationships worksheets printable, or is there a PDF?

Print the page from your browser, or choose Save as PDF in the same dialog. There is nothing to buy and no email address to hand over first. That said, five of the six want a notebook rather than a form, because the method depends on writing over two weeks rather than filling in boxes once.

Can I do these if my partner will not take part?

Yes. That is what they are for. Every exercise here is designed to be completed by one person without the other one taking part, which is a deliberate choice rather than a limitation. Couples worksheets already exist in large numbers and they work well for two people who both want to do them.

What if the worksheets tell me something I do not want to know?

Fairly common, and worth planning for before you start rather than after. Decide now who you would tell. One person, named, who has met the two of you. A written record with nobody to read it to has a way of becoming a private argument you have with yourself at two in the morning.

How is this different from a relationship quiz?

A quiz asks what you think. These ask what happened. The distance between those two answers is often the most useful thing you will get, and it only shows up if you write the log before you take the quiz.

More worksheets and guides

• Boundaries worksheets: naming and holding a limit once you have found one.
• Green flags: what working looks like, written as behaviours.
• Red flags: the counterpart list.
• Boundaries in relationships: the wider picture this sits inside.
• I statements worksheet: building the sentence for Worksheet 6.
• Boundaries guide: the cluster this belongs to.

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Reviewed by Dr. Barthwell, addiction medicine specialist. This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.